Éamon Trolleybus FAQ

• Did You Fight During the Easter Rising of 1916?
• Where Would You Have Started the Rising then?
• What Was Your Contribution to the War of Independence?
• Why Did You Disappear in 1994?
• What Do You Hate?
• Is It Safe to Drink Un-Pasteurised Blood?
• What, In Your Opinion, Was Eamon DeValera’s Greatest Contribution to The Irish Republic?
• Why Did You Become A Freelance Historian?
• How Do You Feel About Seamus Brophy?
• Which Side Did You Support in the Civil War?
• Do You Think That The Pope is Infallible?
• How Would You Like To Be Remembered?

Q: Did You Fight During the Easter Rising of 1916?
É.T: Yes, in particular with that cantankerous gamin eyed bastard Padraig Pearse. I could’ve pulled a better rising out of my jock-strap after twenty pints of stout.

Q: Where Would You Have Started the Rising then?
É.T: Not in the General Post Office anyway….too much passing trade. I would’ve set up HQ in a small little sweet shop down the country near Arklow. The Brits never would’ve cottoned on to that - bejesus, we’d be still there yet!

Q: What Was Your Contribution to the War of Independence?
É.T: About 3 shillings.

Q: Why Did You Disappear in 1994?
É.T: It would be ungentlemanly of me to go into detail - suffice to say that Bianca Jagger is quite a woman and I don’t regret a single day of the time we spent together EVEN IF SHE DOES! SLAG!

Q: What Do You Hate?
É.T: Culchies and the English…….hang on……oh yeah…..and culchies.

Q: Is It Safe to Drink Un-Pasteurised Blood?
É.T: I think that you have the wrong web site.

Q: What, In Your Opinion, Was Eamon DeValera’s Greatest Contribution to The Irish Republic?
É.T: His eventual death.

Q: Why Did You Become A Freelance Historian?
É.T: Because that swine Jimi Hendrix stole my electric rock act. I wrote “Voodoo Chile” in 1919 when I was facing execution at the hands of the British oppressors. Of course, it wasn’t called “Voodoo Chile” then. It was called “Michael Collins is Hiding at Sweeny’s Hotel Mullingar Can I Go Now Officer?”

Q: How Do You Feel About Seamus Brophy?
É.T: Seamus Who?

Q: Which Side Did You Support in the Civil War?
É.T: Same as always, West Ham?

Q: Do You Think That The Pope is Infallible?
É.T: How dare you suggest that I have ever had sexual feelings about any man. I will admit that the current Pontiff knows how to wear that gown to its best effect but………filthy pervert. How dare you?

Q: How Would You Like To Be Remembered?
É.T: Alive. Often. Financially. No cheques, only cash.